drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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