Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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