I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
