barbara walters just said penis...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
