What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
