tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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