i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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