I wish i was in the wii world.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
