i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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