Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
