also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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