You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
