he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
