what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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