You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
