We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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