This girl is more easily done than said...
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
