plz talk dirty to me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
