one two three fourrrrnication!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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