I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
