woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
