what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
