As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
