Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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