I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
