Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
