he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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