his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
