Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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