Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
