i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
