So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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