only if we run a train.
done.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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