I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
