paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
