I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
