Define "chronic" masturbator.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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