i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Your cock deserves a montage
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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