oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
