who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
