Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
