That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
