You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
