He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
