Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
