When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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