Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
organizing the empties. That sober.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
