Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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