It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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