I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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