I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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