Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
